Waubonsee Community College

When parents part, how mothers and fathers can help their children deal with separation and divorce, Penelope Leach

eng

Includes bibliographical references (pages 235-238) and index

index present

non fiction

When parents part

bibliography

905450231

Penelope Leach

how mothers and fathers can help their children deal with separation and divorce

"From the author of the best-selling Your Baby & Child: completely practical, comprehensively researched information and advice on how you can do what is best for your child when you are going through a separation or divorce. Using the latest scientific research in child development, Penelope Leach covers the various effects of divorce on children in five stages of life (infants, toddlers/preschoolers, primary school children, teenagers, college students/young adults), many of whom are far more deeply affected than previously thought. She explains recent studies which overturn many common assumptions, and which show, for example, that many standard custody arrangements for very young children are harmful to children's attachment to their parents and therefore to their brain development. There is evidence to suggest that the practice of having infants and toddlers spend regular overnights with non custodial parents may be damaging, and the practice of dividing children's time equally between the parents is seldom best for the children. Leach's advice is meticulously considered and exhaustive, covering everything from access, custody, and financial and legal considerations to managing separate sets of technology in two houses, and she includes the voices of both parents and children to illustrate her points. She explains why "mutual parenting" is the ideal way to co-parent after a divorce, and delineates ways to carry this out. And throughout, she makes clear that, most importantly in any separation or divorce, both parents must put their relationship to their children and responsiveness to their needs ahead of their feelings about each other"--, Provided by publisher

pt. I: When parents separate, what makes a difference to children? -- 1. Seeing children's points of view -- 2. Children's ages and stages -- Babies -- Toddlers and pre-K children (eighteen months to five years) -- Kindergarten/elementary school aged children (five to seven years) -- Elementary school aged children (eight to eleven years) -- Middle school aged children (Eleven to fourteen years) -- High school students and young adults (fourteen to eighteen years and above) -- 3. Other people, inside and outside the family -- Siblings -- Grandparents -- Extended family and other special adults -- Parents' lovers and potential partners -- Children's step-parents -- 4. Practical and legal issues -- Family geography and children's security -- The need for a home base -- Schools -- Money matters -- Legal issues -- pt. II: Separating better-or worse -- 5. Keeping parenting and partnership apart -- Mutual parenting -- Polite parenting -- 6. Trying to get children to take sides -- "Alienation": what it means and why it matters -- Alienation by circumstance or default -- Angry alienation and its use as a weapon in adult conflict -- Avoiding alienation when agreement seems impossible -- 7. Sharing parenting -- Toward child-centeredness -- Parenting plans -- Putting your parenting plan into action -- 8. When contact fails -- Willing parent and reluctant child -- Willing child and reluctant parent -- pt. III: What works and what does not -- 9. More issues parents raise -- Holidays -- Pressures toward independence from adults -- Boarding schools -- Long-distance parenting