Waubonsee Community College

And words can hurt forever, how to protect adolescents from bullying, harassment, and emotional violence, James Garbarino and Ellen deLara

eng

Includes bibliographical references (p. [217]-229) and index

index present

non fiction

And words can hurt forever

bibliography

49404209

James Garbarino and Ellen deLara

how to protect adolescents from bullying, harassment, and emotional violence

Despite the Best Itentions of school administrators, educators, and parents, many high schools -- even those that have addressed bullying and are considered safe -- unwittingly support and enable hostile and threatening environments. As a society, we are only just beginning to understand the degree of damage that bullying inflicts on individual teenagers and on their relationships later in life. In this groundbreaking work, James Garbarino, the best-selling author of Lost Boys, and Ellen deLara uncover the staggering extent of emotional cruelty and its ramifications and counter the nursery rhyme that words don't hurt. Through hundreds of interviews, the authors provide a direct word-for-word view into the thinking of adolescents and the strategies they use to keep themselves safe during the school day. The latest opinion polls and sociological research show that bullying is the foremost problem in the minds of teenagers, yet no book, until now, has focused exclusively on the experiences and needs of older children. Bullying has long been regarded and tolerated by adults and students alike as a way of school life or rite of passage. But the trauma of Columbine altered students' sense of security at school. Their reactions to emotional violence in the classroom and on the playground, in the form of harassment, intimidation, and fear, now, and finally, are driving parents to consider this insidious phenomenon the serious problem it has always been. And Words Can Hurt Forever, however, not only calls attention to the problem; it not only tells what individual parents can do to protect their child; it also throws into sharp relief the issue of adult responsibility for improving our children's emotional livesThis unique book teaches parents to accept reality (teenagers encounter bullying at school on a daily basis), challenge old beliefs ("kids will be kids" or "I lived through it, so can they"), and form alliances with other parents to take on the school system. Garbarino and deLara help teenagers learn that they don't have to carry the world on their shoulders: Dealing with emotional violence is first and foremost an adult responsibility. They show the value of participating in positive activities as a way of building alliances and creating safe spaces, of developing moral leadership by reaching out to kids who are different, and of challenging emotionally violent behavior even in "harmless" friends. With accessible and profound insights on how to turn passive parents and worried teenagers into positive advocates for both personal safety and societal health, And Words Can Hurt Forever offers a vital and uplifting message: Far from being pawns in their environments, teenagers themselves have the solutions to school violence, if only adults would listen

Emotional violence can kill -- Secret school life of adolescents -- Taking on the myths of adolescents at school -- Ins and outs: issues of power and groups -- Many faces of bullying -- Sexual harassment and stalking -- Warning signs: the system needs repairs -- Taking it -- Puzzle of peer predictability -- Kids high at school: everyone's affected -- Principals and teachers stepping up to the plate -- Epilogue: final reflections on the emotionally safe school